The Refrence Checker

So you need to laugh. . .

I was a my favorite pool hall on Tuesday night, practicing by myself. I was getting tired so I packed my junk up and walked towards the bar to turn in my pool balls. On my way, this young woman stops me and comments that I am very good and asks how did I get that good. So I say to her and her two male companions that I've been playing for years and recently picked it up again. That a few friends were helping me figure out my bad habits and were helping me break them. Then one of her male companions asks my name, what I do etc. I excuse myself to turn in my pool balls and agree to return to continue the conversation. On my way back from the bar, the gentlemen asks me if he were to get a pool table would I play a game or two with him as we continue our conversation. I agree, because who doesn't love free games of pool, especially with pretty men! Ohhh, pretty men, this divorce thing might not be so bad after all. He had sage eyes, the beautiful perma tan olive skin, and had a hint of "silver fox in training" to him.

After about 20 minutes we both realize that we know many of the same people in the community. So the conversation goes to a deeper level and all of the sudden he starts texting someone on his cell phone. Every minute or two he is sending or reading a text. So I think, ok this is weird because for the last 20 minutes I was the most enchanting woman in the world, our conversation was the center of the universe and I was kicking some serious ass playing pool very well. So I think, what the hell??!!??


We have a nice time, he askes if he can take me out sometime next week, so I say yes (he is really really pretty!) and I give him my phone number.

The next day before noon I get three phone calls from people asking me what the heck I did last night. Ok, I did nothing. The vag is closed for buisness after making the grandious decision to be celebate. I did not get drunk and make an ass of myself. I did not trip and fall. I did not knock over anything or break anything. I did not accidentally tuck my skirt into my panties. And I was pretty sure that there was not toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe at any time during the evening. What is going on? What do they mean "what did you do?" STRESS! WHAT DID I DO???

I call each one back and claim to be dense and not have a clue what they are talking about because all I did was play pool with some guy. No big deal.  I come to find out that the next morning when he got to work he asked a few people who I was and what I was about and these people called their friends who called their friends, who called their friends, you get the point. The little sage eyed fucker was checking my refrences.

Funny, my refrences have been checked. I think this is funny, and kind of indearing. And then one friend sends me a text message that says the following " If some guy you are going on a date with says that you are a communist  know it all, that you secretly are plotting to overrun the government and that you have webbed toes, he didn't hear it from me"

OK- The texter and I have a friendship based on fun and a good, well thoughtout, crafty practical joke. So I think that he is just messing with me because he knows I'm dating/doing research. So, I call him to tell him to quit spreading nasty rumors and that I am acutally a conservative right wing fundamentalist Christian (hahahah) and that he needs to get his story straight before he gives me a bad name. . . upon which he informs me that his stepdad works next to the nice young sage eyed gentalman who approiached me in the pool hall's. The sutor was talking about me and the stepdad says something to the effect of " I think that is my son's wife's best friend, lets call him and find out." (the stepdad has no social skills!) Stepdad dials my friend, says hello, and hands the phone to the nice young sage eyed gentleman who has asked me out.. . . at which point my friend just decided to totally screw with this nice young sage eyed gentleman, revealing my secret political affiliation, plans to overrun the government and that my toes are webbed.

At this point I'm not sure what to do, the ball was in my court becasue I had agreed to name the day and time that we were going to have a date. I decide the best course of action is to text the sage eyed gentleman and ask the following two questions:
1) would Wednesday work to meet up and go have some fun?
2) Has my cover been blow due to new knowledge revealing my secret political officication?

At which point the sage eyed gent texts me back "oh, I guess you know I asked around"
At which point I text him and say, "yep, and its all true"
At which point he texts me back and says "I've never taken a communitst to dinner"
At which point I text him and say, "Communists like good whiskey to go along with their meal"


And so I had a date that Wdnesday night, and I will be sure to pack the Communist Manifesto, quote Stalin may times and wear a red t-shirt-

Thank you refrence checker for reminding me that you never know who knows who. I learned that men are just as insecure as women. That they are just as afraid of being hurt, or used, or something worse. The sage eyed refrence checker taught me that we are all truly equals. Hurt to one is no greater or lesser than for any other. Breakups are hard for all. And that there is really a level playing field out there.