Reality Check in the form of a Lost Dog

Dear Muskrat,

I have tried to write you, life has dissolved my time the past few weeks.

I lay in bed in mourning, wrapped in a microcosm, aware of my want out. Memories of the last decade come and go, come and go. They organize, form an annotated timeline. I sit in front of it, and decide not to review significant events that have defined me.

Eyes absorbing the texture of the ceiling, feet warm & tucked tight under the quilt, I see that I define the timeline, and decide to shift some things, add some things and flick some things away. As I reach out, fingers primed, my third finger flinches under the pressure. It is unwilling to flick, to send things I don't like about myself flying towards the bedroom wall.

Nothing gets shattered.  I say to my finger "Afraid?" I take a deep breath and listen, song birds outside the window, the creaking hinge of the door on the church across the street, a man on the street who is being followed by a lost dog trying to reason with it to go back to its home.

And I giggle, as I sit up and stretch over the windowsill to catch the last bit of the very one sided conversation, between the man and the dog. He hears me push the window open and looks up to the third floor, pauses and waves his hand once. My cheeks heat up as awareness of my lack of clothing pushes it way to my brain. He turns one last time to the dog and admits defeat shrugging his shoulders. I watch as they saunter down the street, leader and follower. The man catches the bus and the dog is left standing alone, looking rather confused. I would do the same if I was in the dog's situation. It sits down in the sun and looks up at me and I want to save it, but I know I can't. It is not my dog.

I am snapped back to reality, the laundry won't wash itself, my dog can't fix his own breakfast, there is a hug, a kiss, a bowl of oatmeal and unending cups of coffee, a 6 mile jog, a concert, a new friend to meet and walk in the sun all ahead of me today. I better get to it, and continue creating my timeline.

Good luck with your timeline today Muskrat. I hope it is full of things that make you smile.

Most sincerely yours,
Mink